


real

by goldenred



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: #CANTFOCUSBITCHES, Babies, Eddie - Freeform, Eddie Kaspbrak - Freeform, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Hurt/Comfort, I dont really know, Kid Eddie Kaspbrak, Kid Richie Tozier, Kinda, Kissing, LMAO, M/M, Mistakes, No adults, Not Proofread, Reddie, Richie - Freeform, Richie Tozier - Freeform, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, The Losers - Freeform, boys r acceptable, i hate my old writing but the first half of this fic is literally my old writing only so uhm, i suck at proofreading im so sorry, is richie okay????, kiss, losers - Freeform, maybe i shouldve just rewrote it STFU IM LAZY, not adults cause i hate old men, only boys, oopsies, pennywise - Freeform, poor richie, r + e, r+e, reddie kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenred/pseuds/goldenred
Summary: IT messes with richie by shaping himself into a perfect eddie lookalike (not proofread so read at your own risk)
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	real

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot focus long enough to proofread there are probably so many mistakes im so sorry. i started this september of last year and forgot about it halfway through writing it so im really sorry if some details dont match up LMAO

“see ya,” eddie waved as he walked away from the picnic table where the losers gathered after school. quickly after eddie left, everyone else had to go. richie stayed at the table, head in his arms, just thinking. thinking about really just nothing at all until he felt like he wanted to hang out with eddie again.

richie stood up and followed the steps that eddie took to leave, he knew eddie must be close to his house by now, so he would just have to go there and ask if he wanted to hang out. he was practically jogging. 

he reached a corner and jogged around it, but suddenly he bumped into an object and lost his balance, catching himself before he fell.

“sorry,” richie said in a low voice. he finally looked at the stranger who he’d body checked and noticed it was eddie. “wha- eddie? sorry,” eddie was on the ground from the sudden push, richie reached a hand to help him up, “are you okay?” 

“yeah, yeah. quit booking shit around corners, dumbass.” eddie took richies hand and pulled himself off the ground with it.

“i thought you would be home by now. what are you doing?” richie asked as he let go of eddies hand.

“i was actually coming back to see if we could hang out at your house. today. or not if youre busy..” eddies cheeks became a light pink, barely noticeable.

“maybe tomorrow, i have a date with your mom right now.” richie laughed and eddie punched him on the chest, “nah, im free now.”

“cool. well, lets go.” eddie got a head start and started running the direction of richies house.

“get back here you asshole!” richie yelled and chased after him.

when they got to richies house, they were both completely out of breath. they both collapsed onto the stairs leading up to the front door trying to catch their breath.

“fuck you,” eddie said between breaths, “you beat me.”

“its because im god” 

“alright all mighty one.” eddie laughed a little and rolled his eyes, picking himself up off the stairs and opening the door. “are your parents here?”

“i feel like by now you should know the answer to that.” 

“right. just making sure.” eddie opened the door and walked inside, richie following right behind him.

they sat on the couch and turned the tv on as background noise. neither of them knew what to do, they just sat in silence.

“hey rich?” eddie broke the silence and turned his head to richie.

“yeah?” richie looked back at him.

“i need to tell you something..”

“what is it?”

richie expected some kind of mom joke, as he would do something like this himself, but what he got was a lot different.

“i.. i like you.” eddies face was clearly heating up. “as in more than a friend kind of like.”

richies face was also heating up, he was at a loss for words. “eds i...” he paused and eddie became nervous, but he spoke again. “i-is this just to fuck with me?” 

“no, richie.”

“i... i like you too, eds. probably too much.”

it all happened so fast after that. richies brain couldnt keep up. suddenly eddie was slowly moving towards his face, and richie was moving towards eddies, too. richie closed his eyes in the moment. but then he heard a horrible noise. it made him want to rip his ears out, it was so uncomfortable. it was the noise of... skin stretching?

suddenly there was laughter. it wasnt eddies laugher, though. he opened his eyes and was met with a growing monster. eddies skin was stretching and turning into skin of a clown. a laughing clown. 

“oh, richie.” the clown laughed when it was finished becoming itself, “did you honestly think that someone would like you? no one likes gays, richie.” 

richie stared, horrified. 

“youre just a disgusting boy, richie. eddie doesnt actually like you. why would he like you? all you do is laze around and make stupid jokes. maybe thats why your parents hate you, too.” the clown, pennywise, laughed again, in more of a mocking tone. 

richie was still incredibly shocked, his brain was still having a hard time catching up with what was happening.

“‘i like you too, eds,’” pennywise tried to sound like richie, mocking what he’d said before, “‘probably too much.’” pennywise broke into complete laughter. 

then richie started working again, his brain booted up and he stood from the couch, backing towards the door.

“oh? youre gonna try and run away now, are you?” the clown looked richie straight in the eye, drool seeping out of his mouth. 

richie shook with fear. the clown walked at the same pace he did, but that meant richie wasnt getting any further from it. when richie got near the door, he quickly opened it and ran out, closing it behind him and running as fast as he could from the house.

he knew it was still following him, he could hear it. “richieeee,” it said, this time using a voice that sounded like eddies, “come back!” but richie would not come back. 

finally he turned around, he laid his eyes on a terrifying creature. it was the clown, but it had so many spider-like legs with talons coming out of its sides. richie tripped over his own footing, cursing as he fell to the ground.

the clown; or, spider, ran up to him and raised one of its legs, smashing it down onto the ground right near richie. richie was lucky, he was able to roll away from it and get himself off of the ground again. but there was no way the clown would just let him go.

pennywises spider legs continued to slam into the ground all around richie, scaring him half to death each time. one hit right behind him and caused him to loose his footing and fall to the ground again. 

he held his head in his arms. “its not real.” he repeated, over and over again. its not real. its not real. by now, he began sobbing. he assumed the clown was gone, because he wasnt dead yet. he let himself sob in a puddle of his own limbs.

soon enough, richie felt an arm on his shoulder. “richie?” a voice said. the voice was so full of panic it was like it was going to burst. richie looked up and put his glasses on; they had fallen off when he fell to the ground. 

eddies figure crouched above him.

“wh-what happened, richie?” 

richie took a look at eddies eyes. was he really concerned? or was he just pretending? did pennywise speak the truth? did anyone actually like him? was this actually eddie? his mind filled with so many questions that he again couldnt keep up with.

“i cant do this.” richie spoke, but it came out as a croaked whisper. barely audible. as he said that, he stood up and ran back to his house.

eddie called after him, but richie just couldnt turn around. he couldnt face him. why couldnt he face him?

because it hurt. it hurt him so fucking bad. 

richie spent the rest of the night sobbing into his pillow and trying to forget about everything. he wanted to forget about his stupid crush on eddie. he wanted to forget about what had happened tonight. he just wanted to forget. 

one thing richie did forget was that his parents hadnt come home yet. he didnt care. now he could sob all he wanted and no one would hear. 

the next day, he didnt go to school. the day after that, he didnt go to school. he worried about his grades for a moment of each day, but the thought of having to be around people made him sick. 

richies parents still hadnt come home yet, but now richie knew why. they came back the next morning and told him that they were going somewhere and wouldnt be back for a while. vague, am i right? how long was a while? richie didnt know. where were they going? he didnt know that, either. he was left with $20 and the food that was in the cupboard.

by the third day, he felt like he needed to go back to school. he was probably missing important things, and it would just be harder for him if he didnt go right away. so he went.

he never in a million years thought he would be lucky to only have a couple of classes with his friends. that basically destroyed any conversations to be had between them, and if they tried to talk to him he would just walk away and to his next class. 

he moped all day. everyone could notice. his shoulders slouched, his eyes had bags and always seemed to have a small line of red around the bottom of them. no, he wasnt high. he was sad. he was upset. he was alone. he was pushing away the people he cared about, the people he loved. why? because he was gay, and if he didnt push them away now, they would just push him away later.

he went on like this for two more days until he just couldnt anymore. he missed his friends too much. he missed eddie too much. he’d been with them for so long that even a couple of days away from them felt like an eternity. 

he got home from school and laid in his bed. this was what he did every day. he had nothing else to do. he would read a book for a bit, maybe do some homework, but there was absolutely nothing else to do. 

richie needed to see them again. but it felt like he’d been away for so long that they would just hate him now, or they would hate him for avoiding them. or they would have already hated him for his sexuality (which he was assuming that even though he didnt tell them, they knew) and they were happy he wasnt there. 

he made dinner at 7pm. before that, he took a nap, which had taken him past his normal dinner time and into evening. 

he heated up one of the last microwaveable meals they had and ate silently at the table. the house was so quiet. there were just plain house noises like cracks and bangs every once and a while, but other than that, it was so silent richie wanted to rip his ears out.

he knew he wouldnt last much longer avoiding his friends. and to make matters even worse, everytime he made eye contact with eddie in the hallways at school, eddies face would form a pout and his eyes would scream that he missed richie. all of his other friends would have eyes of pity, they didnt even know what happened, but they just assumed it was bad and they gave him small pity. eddies eyes were different. eddies eyes spoke a story of loss. 

richie staying away from them hurt all the losers equally. they had hated his jokes when he was there, but they missed them when he was gone. they still hung out and everything, and they did their best to ignore the missing soul, but it was difficult. they felt like they all lost a piece of themselves when richie stopped hanging around them.

richie spent a long time deciding if he wanted to face the losers again, and he wanted to. he figured that he would pretend like nothing happened. his acting was good, right?

he then went to sleep, dreams of emptiness laying themselves in his head. 

he awoke the next morning to the sound of the radio on his alarm clock turning on. he reached over and felt for the off button, turning it off almost as soon as it started, grabbed his glasses and placed them gently on the bridge of his nose after rubbing his eyes.

that stupid ass clown hadn’t been bothering him since what happened, he wondered if it was messing with the others for now. he had no real answer, though; at least, not until he talked to the losers again. 

today went by slower than ever for richie. eventually, lunch break came around and richie spotted the losers at their usual picnic table along the side of the school. he was about to walk up to them and go with his plan, until eddie looked his way and they made eye contact. richies eyes widened and he recalled the words of fake eddie as he backed away around the corner.

he found an empty table and sat himself, starting to munch his sandwich in silence. the sandwich wasnt much, he found some cheese and almost expired bologna in the fridge and put them into some bread. 

a number footsteps approached him as he ate, but he didnt look up. they would just pass him by anyways. but they didnt. instead, they went around the table and sat with richie. thats when richie looked up and saw the losers all sitting on the table.

“wh-“ richie tried to speak, but was cut off.

“wuh-wuh-what the hell, man? why’d y-you just ditch us like that?” bill playfully yelled, not actually mad, just confused.

“you didnt come for movie night, you asshole.” that came from eddie, he stood just a few feet from richie with his arms crossed. usually, richie and eddie would fight over the last blanket when it hit movie night, but they’d end up sharing. it became a thing to look forward too, both of them secretly enjoyed it. 

richie never thought that hearing eddies voice would cause him pain. what if even this eddie wasnt real? what if it was just another trick and all of the others werent real either? he didnt want to think about that, he wanted to have fun with his friends again, but fear was stopping him. 

“sorry,” was all richie could say. words werent coming to his mouth. 

“did something happen?” bev asked, leaning down towards richie.

“did you see the cuh-clown?” bill questioned and richie froze up, his tense expression alone showed the answer to bills question. just the thought of that made richie want to hide himself from them and never let anyone see him ever again. but he couldnt. should he tell them the truth?

“yeah.” richie squeaked out, voice sounding wobbly. this was so dumb.

silence. no one said anything. they all just assumed that would be the answer, it didnt come as a surprise to them. 

they all sat around richie at the table, sitting in silence until something hopefully came up. eddie sat directly across from richie.

“what happened with the clown?” beverly spoke again.

richie hesitated, bringing his legs up onto the bench and hugging them loosely, making no eye contact.

“it.. wasnt that bad. just showed up at my house, played...” ‘youre just a disgusting boy, richie. eddie doesnt actually like you.’ richies heart still hurt. “played its little games, left me running.” he looked up at eddie, who was staring at him, but immediately looked away from a mix of sadness and only a small amount of trauma. 

why did he have to be like this? why did he have to like his friend? why was this stupid clown trying to ruin everything for him? it all made him sick to his stomach. he wanted to throw up. why was life so unfair?

richie sat normally again, looking around the table, avoiding eddies eyes. he could not understand why he felt so.. off.. with eddie there. he knew it wasnt really eddie at his house, he was just confused.

he spent the rest of the day with his friends again after school, doing just what they do. but, he wasnt bickering with eddie. everyone noticed. he stuck around everyone else, but not eddie.

richie went home to his quiet house. he’d gone to the store to get sandwich stuff on his way home, so that was his dinner. he sat on the couch and turned on the television as background noise as he sat and ate his sandwich. 

time flew by, and all of a sudden it was 10pm. richie lifted himself off of the couch and shuffled to his room. he turned off his bedroom light and got into bed, but he just couldnt fall asleep. he just stared at the ceiling, mind blank.

a small knock sounded from beside him. 

“hello? are you asleep? you better not be asleep or i swear to god.”

richie sat up and looked to his curtain covered window. he stood and removed the curtains, peering out to see... eddie? he slid the window open and was forced backwards by a body jumped up and climbing through it.

“what the fuck.” richie said as he regained balance, looking at the body on the floor that just leaped through his window.

eddie stood up straight as quick as he could. “why were you ignoring me all day dickface. i missed you and that was my payment?” richie could barely comprehend what he was saying, he spoke so fast.

“huh?” richie questioned, barely audible.

“i know you know what im talking about. you ignored me everytime i talked to you and i want to know why. so im here. i climbed through your window to know. and dont you dare bullsh- wait are your parents here?” 

richie paused for a moment amazed at how fast he cut himself off. “no. they arent.” 

richie was very hesitant talking to eddie, was he real?? if he’s being honest, he definitely was giving off more of an eddie vibe than pennywise could ever do. no one could pull off eddie better than eddie could. 

“so you snuck away from home just to see me? impressive, eds. never thought i’d see the day.” 

eddie walked away, staring angrily at richie as he flopped himself onto richies bed. “fuck you, im just concerned.” 

richie closed the window and sat on the ledge of it. why was his life so fucking confusing? “youre always concerned, kaspbrak.”

“look, can you stop. i’m more concerned than usual, asshole. im just trying to be a good friend. i can leave if you want.” eddie sat up on the bed.

“you live too far away. may as well stay for a bit.” richies voice was quieter. 

“okay. well, then, i want to know what happened.” eddie was determined to find out what happened, he wanted to help. 

“it was nothing, edwardo. i swear.” richie looked down and then out the window. he became uncomfortable by the window pretty quickly, so he went and laid on his bed near eddie.

“shut up. why are you so stubborn? i wont stop nagging until you open up, you should know this.” 

“i..” richie lost his entire vocabulary. he didnt know what to say. “..dont want to talk about it..” 

shit. eddie couldnt fight that. he wasnt going to force him to talk about it if he didnt want to. “fuck you.” eddies voice got only a small bit quieter, “alright. i’m not leaving though. you shouldnt be alone.” 

“what? why not?” 

“because youre clearly upset about whatever happened and you shouldnt be alone when youre upset and you cant say no to me.” eddie laid down on richies bed once again and sighed. he still really wanted to know what exactly happened. 

“he. .” richies voice wasnt even a whisper, barely a noise. he remembered what had happened, it sent fear through him again. his body trembled, only slightly, but enough for eddie to notice, or maybe it was that he was intensely staring at richie. “he was you.” 

“what?” eddie and richie made eye contact, but richie quickly looked away, “no seriously, what? i couldnt hear you. you talk too quietly dumbass.” 

richie didnt want to say it again, but he knew eddies annoying self wouldnt stop until he did, “he disguised himself as you.” 

“me?” eddies voice was laced with confusion.

“yes, you. you left and i went after you to see if you wanted to hang out more, and i found you, or, it, then you.. it came over here and..” richie felt tears appear in his eyes, but he tried to continue, “you.. it... he tried..” he stumbled over his words, his voice shaking, his anxiety building up in his gut. 

richie took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. by now richie was too embarrassed to say anything else. “nevermind. im sorry.” he choked out.

eddie was so confused. “why me? richie, what happened?” 

“it tried to.. it tried to kiss me.” richie was trembling so much eddie could feel the bed they were on shake a little. richies voice shook along with his body, his anxiety about to burst. he spoke before he could even think, “eddie. i really like you, okay? clearly IT knew that. it used you against me. i couldnt look at you. im sorry. you can leave if you want, i understand.” richie put his glasses on his bedside table.

he face planted into his pillow. the silence coming from eddie scared his so much he couldnt force himself to look at his for his reaction. 

he felt a tap on his shoulder, and looked up, only to be surprised with warmth against his lips. eddie was kissing him. something told him now this was really eddie, he wasnt worried anymore. they pulled back for a moment, locked eyes, then richie pulled him back down.

eddie pulled back after a long moment, and the first thing out of richies kiss-swollen mouth was, “you kiss a lot better than your mom.”

“i hate you so much.” eddie turned away from richie, but was attacked by richies embrace.

“love you too, spaghetti.”


End file.
